WANDERING THOUGHTS

a MSN converstation which occured recently...
all identifying details have been removed to ensure confidentiality
XXX says: bored
ZZZ:really
ZZZ:how come
XXX :stayign at home...
ZZZ:go out a but
XXX: don't feel like doing it
ZZZ:how come
XXX:i try to go out at least once a week
XXX: i'm a healthcare practioner's child
ZZZ:k...hehe
XXX:i grew up with my parent(S) being on calll
ZZZ:heh
XXX:and all our holdiays and outings were spoilt or interupted by the communicator and going to the workplace
ZZZ:oh alrite
ZZZ: u don't have to be the same
XXX: so i've learnt to make myself comfortable at home
ZZZ: tut TUT
XXX:i know i dunt have to be the same
XXX:but i've adapted to the situation
ZZZ:adaptability
XXX:why??
XXX:looks like ur thinking something deep so i won't disturb ur reveri
ZZZ:is it easier than change??
XXX:well...if change takes a long time and is difficult to achieve
XXX:then adaptability will do
ZZZ:but change that takes so long
ZZZ:is worth it
XXX:maybe,.,...
XXX:but if the change is taking tooo long to happen and there are so many dificulties..that one just loses hope, gives up and is bren down
XXX:then the adaptation will be a form of survival
XXX:and that adaptation will later be a form of stumbling block together with the person's history ..when change eventually comes
ZZZ:preception of change and adaptability is different in people
XXX:then that statement earlier would be just me opinion la
ZZZ:exactly wat my statement just said

other matters [an interesting comment found somewhere which mirrors my thoughts]

I mean lots of us [myself included] we would do anything in our world to fix our parents up or trade them for other ppl…but each person bears a different cross.your parents will only be right for uand the same goes for me. funny how when we were young we used to think at times that our parents were the best but now we feel that they’re the worst!!well i suppose that’s GOD’s way of reminding us no one is perfect…and that even those who love you and have your best interest at heart can cause you pain and hurt but parents…were also given to us by GOD :
1. for us to see HIS love in action
2.and for us to practice what GOD says about forgiveness, patience, and alll other aspects of the Christian walk
so yeah…the fact that even before each of us was a a cell in our mom’s body, GOD knew how our lives was going to turn out …and GOD chose our mum and dad to have us..that’s amazing!!
that itself shows the maginitude of this whole issue…we can’t comprehend what our parents do and why they do it the way they did….but neither can we comprehend what GOD does and why HE does it the way He does it…only things we can do is love… love GOD..and our parent's not as in romantic love but as in agape love..

drat this vibration!!
it's been going off and on since 1.32 pm ...so strong until the door was shaking, my sis and maid felt the house vibrating too
and to further prove we 2 were not imagining things...my neighbours's upper verenda grills and awning were shaking too [as in phone on vibrator mode]
dunno what it is!!but i wish it will STOP...
very irratating la

1 week and 2piano lesson later i've realised that:
a. i'd be asking for trouble if i countinue to play with long fingernails (not that thy're long.. only 5mm or less in width) but i thought that i could finallly grow my fingernails these hols..a minor "rebellion" after the numerous times i had to cut my nails this year just to be able to percuss :P

b. i definitely need to pay more attention to my left hand. during the first lesson itself, it was obvious something was not right..but the problem was only pinpointed in my 2nd lesson when my teacher voiced out..."your left hand seems like it's collapsing everytime" apparently my right hand is fine cuz that's my dominant upper limb [and also thanks to the voluminous notes i had to write for anatomy :(] but my leftie, looks like it's more finger exercises until u'r back on course]

c. yeah, i'm taking refresher lessons - just for fun


well here comes the shopping list again:
1. transferring files
i;ve spent at 3 hours transferring my CBP, SPC, portfolio and rural pictures into my home PC so that i can burn it into a DVD [the whole thing is at least 3.22 GIGA!!!] my own comp doesn't have the ability to burn DVD so i've to transfer the files to my home PC...all this using my 512 megabyte thumbdrive ...yeah u guessed it,..i trasnferred files till my thumbdrive was full, then put into my home PC and dumped it there and went back to my own comp.....the whole cycle was done at least 6 times :(
the things i do just to save some space in my comp

2. rural pics
meddies listen up!..u want the pictures..i have them but the issue we need to resolve is that the pictures themselves are btwn 1.2 to 1.8 GIGA byte.. so unless u get urselves 2gigabyte thumbdrives and copy the files from me...i dunno how u'll get it..
i thought of putting them up on flicker or photobucket but it'll be too tedious..those brilliant ppl whom i know got any suggestions??

3. presents
well these are the things i'd love to get for Christmas or birthday but the chances of getting them are slim..oh well it can't hurt to dream
i) speakers
not earphones but lovely speakers....don't care how big they are as long as they give good sound...
earphones [both the ipod type and the ones in the audio shops] make my extermal ear ache and very tender esp after 3 hours
while with speakers.....u close ur eyes and it's like watching the MPO..the orchestra/band is playing right in front of you ..it's easier to pick up certain insturments and the music arrangement for different instruments
ii) digital camera or better phone
theis one....i'd say no go
iii)music
iv) earrings!!!
but unless i identify what exactly it is i'm allergic to ...i can't wear any earring
and i've got to pierce my ear again after it closed up the 2nd time following the 2nd allergic reaction

that's all for now i guesss.

I Believe in You - Il Divo and Celine Dion

A soul who's going through the valley of darkness will clutch at any ray of hope, any encouraging message. Even in the midst of this turmoil, the battle deep within,
i know that though they've never heard this song before,
Min Chiee and Sisca would have gave it to me..it echoes their sentiments
it's a song i'd give to myself too.

Lonely
The path you have chosen
A restless road
No turning back
One day you
Will find your light again
Don't you know
Don't let go
Be strong

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.

Tout seul
Tu t'en iras tout seul
Coeur ouvert
A l'univers
Poursuis ta quête
Sans regarder derrière
N'attends pas
Que le jour
Se lève

Suis ton étoile
Va jusqu'où ton rêve t'emporte
Un jour tu le toucheras
Si tu crois, si tu crois, si tu crois
En toi
Suis la lumière
N'éteins pas la flamme que tu portes
Au fond de toi souviens-toi
Que je crois, que je crois, que je crois
En toi

Someday I'll find you
Someday you'll find me too
And when I hold you close
I'll know that is true

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe in you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you can not do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.

it's odd
it's way beyond a coincidence
it's YOUR way of telling me "I know"

i was looking idly through my friend Gary's blog...
when i clicked on something...
lo and behold it led me to this....http://www.xanga.com/piovosa

i don't know the writer personally
i've never met her
but the way she wrote what she did
it was exactly what i've been feeling like these few weeks...
people have asked me "why so quiet??tired isit??"
but piovosa whoever she is, described it so beautifully
it was as if she took a look at my soul and knew that i needed to let it out but didn't know how to ..and so she did it for me

Piovosa,
thanks ..
you'll never know how much it means to me

so, the exam's are over...and before i go to other matters
i think it's best to start with the exams,,

OSCE's
Objective Simulated Clinical Exams or better known as our practivals..
well we had 9 active and 4 rest stations....i'm glad it's over
but the worst part was the quarantine..
since i was in the 1st batch, we had to be qurantined till the 3rd batch went in
which means i was stuck in the histopath lab from 11am to 2.15 pm without internet [disconnexted especailly for the occasion] without computers [all out]
so after exhaustively reviewing our experinces in the practicals,
we had no other option but to STUDY ;(
if u were not in the mood to study, u could try to sleep in the chairs
but tea, coffee, biscuits, lunch were provided
things got slightly better with the 2nd batch joining us..
but i think most of the 1st batch was knocked out by the time we got out


End OF Year [paper 1]
this was a written paper on year 2 only
this was the paper that got most depressed
this was what ppl knew as the KILLER paper
personally i hated the feeling when i went through the paper the 1st time and could only answer 30% or less of the questions...
at the end, u could see the "I studied a lot for this but i could'nt answer most of it" look which was then followed by "s*** if this paper is like this, i'm so gonna die for VIA" look
i was like stoning all the way afterwards cuz i wasn't sure if i had slept the previous night or not
so tired that i really did not feel like eating but forced myself to eat lunch and some icecream
imagine eating ice cream and not tasting it, but instead disliking it- that's how i felt


Vertically Intergrated Assesment [paper 2]
again a written paper that inceluded 50% year 1 and 50% year 2
after the EOY above, ppl were walking to the exam hall as if they were walking to the exectutioner's chair
i tell u i've never seen mau ren so serious and grim as we went to the hall
not even a trace of laughter in his usually cheerful eyes ! that freaked me out a bit
then when i was in the hall, made good progress on the 1st and 2nd mcq sheets but by the time i hit the 3rd sheet,
*normally i go thru the paper 1 time, then 2nd to do the ones which i left out, then 3rd to do the questions which i really find hard, and so on and so forth*
my brain was not focusing on the questions,
my eyes were so badly wnating to close
the lack of sleep was finally taking it's toll on me
my brain was going everywhere except the paper
i was looking at the question and stoning
shook myself every now and then just to keep awake

then GOD decided to make tings slightly easier for me
He sent a bird to the window outside
i watche in amusement as the bird tried to find the elusive bird who was entracing the 1st bird with it's song
it was so funny to see the way the bird's feather ruffled, and the neck erect as he sang his song
it stuck me that it was most probably mating season now
and the bird was porbly looking for a mate :)
by the time the paper was over, i couldn't take it any longer, i just put my head down and tried to snatch a few wincks but alas it was not to be so...the noise by the rest disrupted my plans completely

after that, we went to the histopath cuz the 1st year were organizing a pizza lunch for us kinda like a farewell party for us
such dears...thanks a lot for going thru a trouble for organizing it
it was really sweet...
i know most of u by faces not by ur names,
and i apologize if i seemed condescending, stand offish at times
i didn't really get the chance to know u more but have fun yeah...
esp in year 2, when assignments bog you, when exam blues hit, remember to take a deep breath every once in a while

and then went out for lunch with some ppl,
and came back home and slept

POST EXAMS
it's my first real holidays since April, looonnnnggg overdue
all the other holidays were busy with homework, assignments and exams
but now i can finally laze around with abook in hand, watch tv and surf the net
but i'm feeling a bit lost since exam's over
like got nothing to do
i finally understand what my dad meant when he said that he and his friends would study like mad but after the exams, they would still be wanting to study..
it's like a big portion of ur daily rountine is gone and suddenly u've got this huge amount of time and nothing planned to do with it
oh well...i'll find some thing i guess

i was quite shocked when i turned on the TV and found out about this Magnum Care thingy in Genting Arena of Stars which features local adn international stars..all raising money for
.
...
.....
.......
the Spastic Children's Associtaion of Selangor and FT- the agnecy that i was attached to for CBP!
in fact the kids that were shown in the advertisment were the ones that we worked closely with..*faints*
oh well, raise more money, more equipment for the rehabilitation for children with Cerebral Palsy

the 1st Christmas ad is on tv already courtesy of STARBUCKS..so i'm looking forward to that *yay*

it's Min Chiee's birthday today, so happy birthday dearest!!

this may seem very random but i found this qoute yesterday by some guy named Fats Domino
"a lot of fellow nowadays have a B.A., M.D or even a PhD but don't have a J.O.B."

got to go:P

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!

Thank GOD

The nightmare is over


now i can read story books, laze around, watch TV and movies, and other stuff

and of course have to layan my sis :(


I got this personality quiz from http://benjyben.wordpress.com
I'm" a O41-C30-E27-A38-N71 Big Five!!

When Love Takes You In - Steven Curtis Chapman

This video is very dear to me as it speakes about adoption, a topic close to my heart. Please, to those who've tried to have a child but failed medically, why not try opening your hearts to someone who's already in this world and desprately needs you...

p.s. if i'm not mistaken, this video includes Steven's own daughter[the innocent, cherubic asian girl] and wife [u'll see them at the end].

Jason Mraz The Beauty In Ugly

dearest,



with my practicals on wed, paper 1 on the 12th and VIA on the 14th...

all meddies are struggling [fighting for dear life, hoping against hope, screaming in agony and stress -u get the picture] to finish revision.

since our assignments were passed up on the 22nd,this meant that we have exactly 3 weeks to study a.k.a. cram 2 years of work



but i'm strangely different...

my friends think i'm stressed

but i'm not...

i'm just stoning, thinking

self diagnosed myself with anemia [dad confirmed it with my conjuntiva]

had another allergic reaction to my earrings...

don't exactly know what's inside the earrings that give me a reaction cuz some i can wear but some i can't

it's just one of those times where i wanna be with my friends

but rather be sitting with them in silence

like an invisible member

letting their words flow over me like a river

but i wonder too..



my sis showed me this wonderful video by Jason Mraz-i love it!

that's why i put it up here.



although u heard this before, but i MUST state how much i DISLIKE MONASH's policy of taking pictures and using it as gimmicks,

why focus on certain ppl when everyone gave 101% for the CBP???

i would have loved it if the whole class had been in the picture like the one below, not one or two *blergh! *yuck!*



u can see that this is a very disjointed post but yeah...

do pray for me in the coming exams