My last post sparked off some interest as can be seen from my chat box and the comments.

Though JI KEON (one of the *evil* inhabitants of 21-3) would like the MSN conversation to be put up, it'll be a while before i do that, since i need to EDIT it (in order to protect confidentiality and dignity :P)

Anyhow, since i'm having temporary writer's block, saw this interesting music tag from GERMAE and decided to respond :D

The Music Shuffle Meme
1. Put your iTunes/ music player/ phone on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must put down the song name no matter what.

After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to the meme themselves.
*******************
1.What would best describe your personality?
Breathe Easy - Blue (errrr.....)

2.What do you like in a guy/girl?
Say (All I need) - One republic (a bit vague isn't it?)

3.How do you feel today?
O Shout for Joy - Paul Wilbur (pretty close =D)

4.What is your life's purpose?
I Love to Love YOU - Leann Albertch (very apt)

5.What is your motto?
Power of Your Love (Instrumental Saxophone) - Hillsongs Reflective Worship (again, very apt! i wouldn't be here if not for YOUR LOVE)

6.What do your friends think of you?
You make me feel like dancing - Henry Mancini (LOL)

7.What do you think of your parents?
Yesterday - Leona Lewis

8.What do you think about very often?
The Prayer (huh??)

9.What do you think of your best friend?
Won't Stop - One Republic

10.What do you think of your crush?
Wonderful you - various artists (haha- i suppose any crush would be wonderful:P)

11.What is your life story?
Believe - Cher

12.What do you want to be when you grow up?
When I fall in love - Celine Dion & Henry Clive Griffon (o_O???)

13.What do you think when you see your crush?
Sing for Joy in The Lord - Jim Gilbert (hahahaha)

14.What do your parents think of you?
A house is not a home - various artists (maybe that's what their opinion of my present house, is)

15.What do strangers think of you?
nothing's gonna change my love for you -David Firman ( o..k... now that's a bit disturbing)

16.What will they play at your funeral?
Send in the clowns (from a little night music) -Henry Mancini (the title doesn't fit though the song is pretty gloomy, but it's definitely not something that i want at the funeral :S)

17.What will you dance to at your wedding?
Mighty to Save - Hillsongs (Interesting.)

18.What is your hobby/interest?
What a wonderful world - various artist (hehe. nature IS my passion :D)

19.What do you think of your friends?
All for down - One Republic & You're still the one - Shania Twain (all for one =) thanks for being there ppl)

20.What song do you listen to when you are sad?
tell the world - Hillsongs (well it's one of my fav songs and it does make my feet wanna dance....)

21.What song do you air guitar to?
Amazing love- Rebecca St James (The gentle whispering from the heart air guitar type :P)

22.What should be your signature karaoke song?
Magnificent Obsession- Steven Curtis Chapman (there isn't any karoke version of his songs..)

23.What is your greatest desire?
Saving all my love for you - various artists

24.What does next year have in store for you?
Symphony no.8 in F major, 2nd movement - Beethoven (more piano??)

25.What's your outlook on life?
Una Paloma Blanca - Demis Rossous

26.How will you die?
Because of Your Love - Hillsongs Australia (No comment)

27.Do people secretly lust after you?
Beautiful Saviour - Planetshakers (nahh, not me but the One Above instead)

28.The best advice you will ever get
Make it easy on yourself - Glen Campbell

29.What will I be doing for the next 3 months?
Tenderly - Henry Mancini ( i'm going to study or treat patients more tenderly???)

30.What do you think of the person who tagged you?
A day in the life of a fool- Various artist (o_O Germae is NO fool, a genius yes, but never a fool)

31.What will your future mother-in-law be like?
Sing Hallelujah - Paul Wilbur (a believing and very easygoing mom-in-law)

32.What is the favourite song of the doctor who will help deliver your baby?
hear my song, Violletta - Charles Gerhadt & orchestra (My obstetrician must be a woman then)

33.If you wrote a book, what would it be about?
Silent Night, Holy Night - John Tesh (Christmas -yay!)

34.What sort of world ruler would you be?
Sentimental Journey -Larry Dalton & orchestra

35.Will you ever get a dog or cat?
only by grace - dunno who, album : Times of Worship (no comment)

36.What would you say at your Oscar/Nobel prize acceptance speech?
Partners in Crime - Dave Koz and Jim Brickman (thank you to all my "partners-in-crime" :P)

37.What is your superpower?
Angel- Sarah Maclalen (i'm very good *points at halo above head* also can do miracles :P hehe)

38.Why are you attracted to enigmatic brooders?
Before I fall in love- Coco Lee (The Runaway Bride)
************************

Weird but pretty interesting. I hereby tag:
1. Gary
2. Ben
3. Ji Keon
4. Chris
5. anyone else who is reading this and blogs =)

1. My high school assistant head (PK H.E.M) apparently has a Facebook profile *shocked* .... ... and has added me *horror* !!!!!

2. My sister's biology tuition teacher, is a final yr medical student in IMU Seremban, who teaches biology part time on the weekends. Just found out that Gary and Chris know him too from IMU CF. Pretty small world huh?

3. I've recovered- yay!!!! big smiley :D but now Sisca and Gary have fallen sick :( get well soon ya!

4. Just listening to wonderful anointed music. Singing out loud and heartily, something that i've not done for a lonnngggg time. Bad experiences have made me self concious about singing in front of others, thereby holding me back especially during worship. But there's nothing that can beat just being in God's prescence. It's uplifting, when you sing with all your heart and strength to the ONE who is worthy of all praise. (thank you, my friend for lending this amazing CD)


5. Last night, i got *bullied* by the inhabitants of 21-3. The situation was so comical and frustrating that i wasn't sure if i wanted to laugh or cry- solved the problem by doing both!! never laughed so heartily before. My sides were aching, and tears were running down my cheeks =) Vivian (bore witness to the deed) could hear my howls and peals of laughter from her room. And apparently i've created some kind of record by S.O.B-ing (i.e. laughing so hard until i had difficulty breathing) for nearly 2 minutes while on the phone with Gary .. hehe
Unfortunately, this marvellous incident (marvellous for me since i don't laugh that much) had side effects. due to the hyperventilation, i blacked out <5seconds,>

6. Friends close to my heart, are in trouble. As much as i wanna say something eloquent that will touch their hearts, as much as i wanna gather them in my arms to show them how much i care and keep them away from mischief, as much i want to be by their side; i can't. This is a journey that only they can take, one that i can't accompany them on, but rather a journey that i must stand on the sidelines and support them, cheering them on and constantly praying for them. So at times like these, this song by Casting Crowns is like me speaking to them

it's 2.30 am in the morning..
and i'm up

cuz i can't sleep

why?

too much of phlegm.
white sticky phelgm.

(yes wan yean. phlegm not mucus.)

the fever's worn off,
sore throat waning
now is just the pleghm!!!!

if i lie down, i feel like drowning or suffocating...
cuz i can't breathe with all the sputum!!

got to get it all out -yeah

BUT IT"S NOT STOPPING!!!

have been sneezing, spitting, coughing and even retching it out for at least 30 mins
and still...it's not stopping!


forgive the attitude...

but it's 2.30 in the morning and i have a class at 8am!!!!!!!


I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!



p.s. just realised i've had 3-4 allergic reactions to dust, 2 episodes of vertigo and THIS ...all within the past 3 weeks


I REALLLLLYYY HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!

24 July
Sigh- whoever said doctors are the healthiest people around, was wrong. cuz we've been getting sick too often....

let me explain

last week, Ben fell sick. Later that week met Shae Lynn who also was feeling sick.Then on Sun, Wan Yean was unwell. By Monday, Syaima, Vivian and Ji Keon were down. All had the common signs -fever & sore throat. today, i woke up and unhappily found that i had joined the club:(

23 July
today was a very tiring day for me..

had bedside with Dato Khalid followed by ethics. Thankfully the tutorial finished 30 mins early cuz i felt woozy -thought it could be cuz iwas very hungry despite having had breakfast. So had a sugary drink, then rushed to do my MCR with Mr Andrew Gunn (Head of Surgery).

Came out, had a quick lunch and joined my subgroup for bedside with Dato Veloo. By then, was feeling tired and so went a bit *hyper/crazy* with my answers and diagnosis(es). Didn't help that i started having transient room spinning around thingy. Was so exhausted and dizzy when i reached home. Mau Ren noticed it too, and asked me if i was going to faint (which of course i didn't). opened the door and collapsed on the sofa. after a while, when the vertigo didn't disappear, took the medication...and just spent the rest of the day resting.


Moral of the story:
1. must learn to take care of own self first
2. times like this, i'm grateful for the wonderful health so far. thank God for healing me.

2 blog posts in one day.. a tad unusual for me, at the moment

but this email that Zach passed along, really spoke to me
everyone of the first 6 verses, jumped out and ministered to me,

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I'm not shouting 'I'm clean living.''
I'm whispering 'I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

i need ...
i somehow need to connect with God
i Know He's here...somewhere...looking

out for me,
but i need to feel Him....

i'd like to tell you don't worry..but i know you will
soo all i can say is by His grace, the answer is on the way...
i believe..that soon, He will come, and help me

Romans 8: 35, 37-39

"35 Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble, or hardship, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger or sword?
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
38 For i am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers,
39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

listening to songs,
songs that used to minister to me
but now...are just music and lyrics

going through everyday
on autopilot
feeling disconnected
laughing forcedly (it comes out a tad hollow)

trying hard to hold on to funny moments
but failing

trying to find comfort in the prescence of dear ones
but it's gets too close for comfort, too stifling,
and i end up withdrawing,
gasping for air

all the talk, all the expressions,
just a long list of sounds from people,
mouths moving
but i'm not processing what they're saying

tiredness, fatigue
it's like i've just taken some antihistamines (allergy medication)
head feels heavy, hands at times feel like lead

appetite's gone
feel cold easily
no interest in things
not even in neuroanatomy and forensics
i look at books (medical, fiction, nonfiction -all the same)
and i don't get the urge to pick it up and see what it's about
watching tv....
i can actually get up and turn it off while favourite shows are on

each day, i long for night so that i can sleep
but when it comes, sleep eludes me
i search for it but to no avail

walk through the unit
realising how empty it is
looking out at through my window
seeing things
feeling so lost
then the huge wave of emotions engulf me

then today,
for the first time the thought actually struck me
had i really made a mistake 2.5 years ago?
am i actually on the right path??
would i.....
could i .... give it up.... Voluntarily????

then when the realisation of what i just had thought hit me,
fear came, panic arose,
fighting hard to quell it,
went about doing stuff on autopilot,
came back, opened the cupboard,
a similiar thought came up
can i run away from things????

dear GOD,
i can't go on like this
with no joy
no interest
please do something
before it's too late....

Help, God

Eloi, Eloi, Lama sabach tani