The Truth

Truth be told,
I was very angry, lonely and confused this past few days
Guess it was pretty obvious, from the previous 2 blog posts, my MSN nick and my general behaviour these past few days
Many have expressed their concerns at my state...
And for that, thank you for caring

But truth be told,
certain things have been happening and these have snowballed over this fortnight, climaxing this week

Anger, bitterness towards GOD
don't wanna talk to HIM
don't wanna have anything to do with HIM
but at the same time, feeling immensely lonely
didn't help that my close friend left for the UK this week
everything's been cooped up inside, stewing away
until someone said "If you're upset, tell GOD you're upset."
and then i realised yes... i'm upset with GOD
upset for the all the mishaps
upset that the nightmare is repeating itself
upset that i'm left all alone
upset that He's testing me in all these things and i'm asking for help, but nothing is happening instead things are going from bad to worse

but.... whilst i was busy being upset, bitter and irritated with GOD
i became very lonely
for i was actually hurting deep within
no communion with HIM left my spirit dying

so yes..
still hurting
but the difference is the light is slowly seeping through the darkness
and the healing process is beginning
and yeah it hurts like bl**** h***
but doesn't the first part hurt the most..
like when u clean a wound, that's when it's the most painful

sigh

keep in prayer please?